the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
