life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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