As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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