Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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