Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
