Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
whose parrot is this?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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