1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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