I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
