Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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