Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
