Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
