I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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