actually, I'm a sock model
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
