I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
We smell like vodka and hangover
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