I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
