why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
