its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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