I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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