out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
