As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
