Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
