we're blogging at a bar
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
