don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
