I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
