I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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