Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
