I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
