girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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