I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
