I cockslap morals
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
