I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
