2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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