ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
