pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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