There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
