try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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