Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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