he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
