Already got asked if we're dating
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
