YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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