Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
