people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
