It's Friday. Sex?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
