Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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