Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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