Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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