Apparently you make a good broom.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
