If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
