Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
