Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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